A penis is not a prerequisite for loving football.
"You're just trying to impress a man."
In a 2013 survey of 500 British men, two-thirds admitted to pretending to like football in order to impress other men (although the results were debated at the time).
Who's faking now, lads?
Getty / Epsilon
"Shall I explain the rules to you?"
If we don't ask for it, then we don't need your mansplanation. Thank you for offering, though. What a gent.
YouTube / Via youtube.com
"Which player do you fancy then?"
Just because you've been raised in a society that loves to objectify women, that doesn't necessarily mean we're looking to return the favour.*
*Not since David Beckham retired, anyway.
Kevin C. Cox / Getty Images
"You shouldn't be shouting like that, it's not ladylike."
"We'll swear if we want,
We'll swear if we wa-ant,
Fuck your judgment,
We'll swear if we want."
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